history is funny...

Tonight I finally mowed the lawn or 2/3 of it. I came in to turn on my computer so it can take forever to update and scan for viruses and all that jazz. I went back out to get the laundry off the line and the light became brighter and I turned and looked and the sky was pink/orange. Who knew air pollution could be so beautiful? Yes, this was my thought as I looked at the sunset. Cynical. Crappy attitude. I'm tired, my allergies have been bothering me, and I don't have a job and it's pissing me off!

While everyone else is getting ready for back to school- buying more post-it-notes and setting up their classes- I vainly look for teaching jobs online for that glimmer of hope that maybe, just MAYBE there might be a job that I can still apply for and possibly have someone look at my cover letter and resume. I feel like I'm torturing myself by even looking and still hoping that I could still get a job this late in the game. School starts here in Vermont next week! Ugh, what am I thinking? I just want a job, that's what I'm thinking. I want to get out of here- out of living with my parents who have become dependent on me which makes me resentful. I'm just a big pile of patheticness. Pitiful. Pitiful Pearl my family used to call me as a child. (thanks)

I know I'm not the only one seeped in self pity. There are thousands of people without jobs. My cousin Steffi is one. She is a teacher also- has taught art, Spanish, and last year moved to the Republic of Georgia to teach English. Now that she's back, she can't get a job, either. What the heck!?! Does the world have something against us Park girls?? Patience. Patience.  I'm listening to a song by the group Train right now... "I won't give up if you don't give up..." very fitting. Thanks for that, God.

I just wish I didn't worry about the future so much. It's not like my worrying can help. And looking back at past faults doesn't help, either. I told my 5th graders "history repeats itself" which is totally true, but that's a whole other discussion. (Empires come and go, lets just leave it as that) I think we need to learn from the past to make the future better. Don't dwell on the past- study it, learn from it, and move toward the future.  Whoah. That was deep.

Something we can learn from history:

Q: What is the fruitiest subject at school?A: "History, because it's full of dates!"

here's some more http://www.ducksters.com/jokesforkids/history.php